Build trust before driving change

The missing piece, the theme that was across all of that is that I hadn't earned their trust. So whether how right or how wrong what I was doing was is the key piece is that I wasn't bringing the team along with me.

Instead of coming in swinging, come in listening, so that you can really set out to make change that actually has true positive impact on the folks around you and you bring along with you.

In that conversation what's important is also saying, 'I believe you can do all these things and I'm doing this to support you.' Or, 'I'm sharing this feedback because I believe in you.' Also saying that I'm here as support, as you are building that out, let me know what I can do to support you.

The framework's third piece refers to Stone's three-step approach: set expectations, give specific feedback, and jump in to help fill gaps.

I give a lot of thought to how I deliver that feedback so it feels like we're on the same team and I'm trying to help them be successful, not to help encourage failure. And that's where I think that third piece of the framework of jumping in to help can make people feel like, 'I'm in a safe space.'

If I can convey, and I will say this very directly to people, I care so much about you and I'm giving you this feedback because I want you to be successful and I want you to be able to reach the pinnacle of what I know you can accomplish. And you do all of that setup and you don't just hope that they understand that, you actually explicitly say that.

The best way... The first tip on getting feedback or delivering hard feedback is first go and actually establish that our relationship is one in which we value each other's contribution, we want to help each other grow, and therefore we're going to be the kind of people that want to give feedback to each other every week.